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Read it in the Funny Pages!

 
  Sunday, February 10, 2013 3:42:00 PM  
 
  Downton Abbey’s third season has tackled such complex themes as cross-class marriage, prostitution, and changing gender roles, with a constantly evolving cast of characters—typically within five-minute segments. Washington Post columnist John Kelly sends it all up with a clever parody of the script. Here’s his take on how Anna updates the imprisoned Bates on Downton news: Bates: How is everyone at Downton, Anna? Mrs. Hughes? Anna: It wasn’t cancer, after all. Bates: Mrs. Patmore? Anna: Diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. Bates: Lady Sybil? Anna: Dead, buried, reanimated as a zombie, and now stalking the village feasting on brains.